The Chance of Love (The Book of Love 7) Read online

  She laughed and shook her head, finally looking up at him with questioning eyes. “I will not hold it against you if you change your mind tomorrow and realize what a mistake you’ve made. But for today, if you are that certain…”

  “I am, love.”

  “Then, yes, Joshua. If you’ll have me, I will marry you.”

  He took her in his arms and kissed her thoroughly.

  He’d just ended the kiss when Farthingales came pouring into the drawing room, Sophie and Violet first, both of them with the widest grins on their faces. Heather and Dahlia tore in next.

  Dahlia cheered. “Now, you must have a new wardrobe! No more of those horrid colors.”

  John was just walking into his home and hurried to the drawing room to see what all the shouting was about. He laughed and shook Joshua’s hand. “Whenever you’re ready, my brother Rupert and I will meet with you to discuss betrothal terms. I’m getting to be rather expert at this.”

  “So am I with preparing wedding celebrations,” Sophie said. “Do you have a day in mind?”

  “Yesterday.” Joshua laughed. “I’ll leave it up to Holly. But I’m hoping within the month.” He turned to Holly. “Assuming you are agreeable.”

  “What?”

  He realized she was no longer paying attention to the commotion around them. Her mind had just drifted back to the past. He saw it in the misty shadows of gray now back in her eyes. Damn it. He had rushed her.

  What had he done?

  Chapter Eleven

  “Holly, is it a mistake?” Joshua asked as they rode in his carriage to Lady Miranda’s home. It was now early evening, and the air was thick and wet, hanging heavy upon them like a shroud.

  She did not immediately respond as they made their way along the streets lit by lamplight.

  Joshua had mentioned Ronan, Tynan, and Abigail would be dining with their mother. He hoped to catch them all at once to relay the good news. So why did she feel as though a gloom had descended upon her? It wasn’t merely the weather that was oppressive.

  She loved him, that was not in doubt.

  So why was her stomach in a twist?

  Fear of marriage, perhaps.

  She sighed and shook her head. “I know you are nothing like Walter. Ours will be a true marriage. I want a life with you, so how can marrying you be a mistake? But I find I am not as free of the past as I wish to be. Those memories have a strong grip on me.”

  He was sitting beside her and put his arm around her. “They’ll fade as we make our own.”

  She nodded. “I know this in my heart.”

  “Is something else troubling you? You are nibbling your lip again.”

  “It is my tell, isn’t it?” she said, referring to a term used by gamblers to find the weakness in other players. “I suppose it is a good thing. I want you to know when I am worried. Yes, there is something else. But it’s so personal…”

  “Holly, you can tell me anything. Especially the things that trouble you deepest. This is what a commitment to each other means.”

  “Yes, this is how it should be.” She let out a breath. “You are the only one who knows this, and so you are the only one I can ask. You see, I’ve never been with a man. I know nothing of such things and don’t know what to do.”

  He arched an eyebrow. “And you think this displeases me?”

  She laughed lightly. “No. I think this pleases you immensely. The thought of someone else tasting my biscuits before you did could not have been easy for you to accept. But as you know, I am untouched.”

  “So, your biscuits are all mine to savor?” He arched a wicked eyebrow. “Why does this worry you?”

  “What if you don’t like them?”

  “You really know nothing of men, do you? There is not a chance. With a face and body like yours? And the sweet scent of you? The sight of you naked? Your hair unbound and spilling over your shoulders. Don’t make me think of it, or I’ll have the driver take another turn around the square while I prove to you why we shall have no problem in that regard. Do you always worry this much?”

  She shrugged. “This is important to me. No one else knows what happened…or rather, did not happen, between Walter and me. To confide in them and seek their advice would reveal the secret I’ve carried these past five years. So how can I ask anyone? Yet, I want to get it right.”

  “You will, Holly. I think I had better marry you fast before you have time to worry about what else you’re getting into.” His expression sobered. “Seriously, I think we ought to marry before the week is out. I don’t want you haunted by dreams of the past. Nor do I want to be chasing a runaway bride.”

  She agreed. “I would never run away from you. You’re the one person I would always run toward.”

  “Remember that, sweetheart. I will always protect you.” He emitted a soft groan. “Ah, here we are. Ready to break the news to my mother?”

  She nodded.

  Lady Miranda took the news exceedingly well. “I cannot imagine anyone more perfect for my son,” she said and smothered Holly in a heartfelt embrace.

  Holly’s head was spinning as the next few days passed in a whirl. She hardly had a moment to breathe, but it was all for a good purpose. She had daily morning visits to the modiste, which she termed “Farthingale festivals” since all her female cousins presently in town managed to show up at the exact hour of her appointment. Madame de Bressard kept her composure as her cousins expressed their opinions on the fabrics, colors, and styles of gowns that suited her best.

  Holly chose her favorites, mostly the lighter pastels for silks, and darker blues and greens for her woolen gowns. Most had lace or ribbon trim, but never too much. She still preferred the simpler styles.

  Her afternoons were taken up mostly overseeing repairs and decoration of the house Joshua had just purchased for them. Most of the repairs were minor and easily handled. Dahlia had a talent for decorating, so Holly went along with most of her suggestions. Even Lady Miranda was impressed. “Holly, it will be a beautiful home. You and my son are going to be very happy here.”

  On the day before the wedding, she had Joshua drop her off at the new house early so she could let the workmen in to complete the final touches. Furniture was also due to arrive today. Not all of it by any means, just a few pieces to give them a place to sit and take tea in the parlor. A bed for the chamber she would share with Joshua.

  She was walking through the main rooms, inspecting the fresh coats of paint, when someone knocked at the front door. Expecting the workmen, she rushed to let them in. She wasn’t expecting the bedraggled man before her. “Lord Rawling, what are you doing here? What’s happened to you?”

  A feeling of unease swept over her.

  Instead of letting him in, she tried to step outside, for he looked frightful. His complexion was sallow, and his eyes had dark shadows under them, as though he hadn’t slept in days. Also, there was a slightly putrid scent about him, as though he hadn’t bathed in days. Yet, he did not look dirty.

  He made his way past her and closed the door behind them. “Forgive me, Mrs. Gleason. But I need a moment of your time.”

  “Not here, my lord. You know it isn’t proper. Have you been following me?”

  She attempted to leave, but he was bigger than she was and easily blocked her path. “Please, I mean you no harm.”

  “Then leave right away and call upon me when I am with my husband.” She wasn’t married yet, but she already thought of Joshua as that. “If you have been following me around, you know that I am to be married tomorrow. I shall no longer be Mrs. Gleason, but Mrs. Brayden.”

  “And I do wish you every happiness.” His hands began to tremble. She would have thought him drunk, but he did not reek of spirits. She did not know what to make of his appearance.

  Where were those workmen?

  “This is why I had to see you today.” He took a step toward her, the look in his eyes quite intense.

  She darted back; however, she did not want to get too far away
from the front door. The moment she had the chance, she was going to run out shrieking. “To what purpose?” She tucked her hands behind her back to hide her own trembling.

  Had there been a pipe or block of wood, anything with which to defend herself, she would have grabbed it. But the house was empty, especially the entry hall which had been cleaned out yesterday. There was nothing here. Not even a speck of dust.

  He took another step toward her. “I—”

  The door suddenly swung open, almost hitting both of them. “Holly, love. I forgot to mention—”

  Lord Rawling tore past Joshua and ran down the street.

  “What the hell?” Joshua was about to run after him, then noticed she was unsteady. He took her in his arms as she fell against him. “Are you hurt? What was he doing here? What did he want with you?”

  “I don’t know. I think he’s been following me.” She struggled to catch her breath. “He came in as soon as you left. The workmen aren’t here yet.”

  “Damn. I shouldn’t have left you alone. This is my fault.”

  “No, it isn’t. There should have been a dozen men crawling all over the place by now. I’m so glad you came back, though. He gave me such a bad feeling. What did you forget to mention?”

  He shook his head and groaned. “Stupidest reason. Ronan asked if he could borrow The Book of Love. I keep forgetting to ask you. It popped into my head just now, and I thought I should tell you before I forgot again. Thank goodness I turned back. Well, I won’t catch him now. Do you know where he is staying?”

  “No, he never mentioned it. But it can’t be too difficult to find out whether his family owns a home in town.” She looked up at him, suddenly alarmed. “You mustn’t go after him on your own. Let me file a report with the authorities.”

  “And say what? That he visited you without an invitation? What can they do? He’s a marquess. They wouldn’t touch him even if he committed murder. I’ll find him and have a serious talk with him.”

  She saw the steel glint in his eyes, and it alarmed her all the more. “And what will they do to you if you hit a marquess? You know it is against the law. You’re the one who will end up imprisoned. You’re right. Leave it alone, Joshua. You’ve probably scared him off for good. In any event, how can you protect me if the authorities arrest you?”

  “I’ll only have a chat with him.”

  He wasn’t fooling her in the least. “Since when do fists talk? We’re to be married tomorrow. You must stay close to me until then. Even afterward, don’t approach him. Let’s call upon Finn’s Bow Street runner, Homer Barrow. He’ll be more adept at investigating Lord Rawling. And we can ask him to put a man on to guard me for a few days. I doubt the marquess will linger in town much longer than that.”

  She jumped when there was another knock at the door.

  “He frightened the wits out of you, didn’t he? You’re still shaking like a leaf.” Joshua drew her behind him and peered out the window. “The workmen.”

  Holly put a hand to her pattering heart. “Oh, thank goodness.”

  He let them in, but then took firm hold of her hand and did not let it go. “I’ll wait until someone in the family arrives to stay with you. Then I’ll go straight to Mr. Barrow’s office. Do you know how to handle a pistol?”

  “No.” She stopped him when he was about to reach into his boot to give her the one he always kept hidden there. “I’ll probably shoot off my own toe.”

  “Holly, I cannot leave you unprotected.”

  “The workmen are with me now. And my sisters are sure to come by soon. Violet, too. She’s postponed her trip to Plymouth until the day after our wedding. Your mother and Abigail will come by as well. Too bad your mother was not here with me earlier. She would have wrestled the marquess to the ground.”

  Joshua grinned wryly. “With one arm tied behind her back, too.”

  He ran a hand through his hair, obviously shaken by what might have happened had he not returned when he did. “Keep the window to the bedchamber you share with Violet securely shut tonight. If you are able to climb up and down those tree branches, so can that devil.”

  She nodded. “Oh, don’t say that. He cannot be that insistent on talking to me.”

  When his mother and Abigail arrived an hour later, he ordered them to remain with her and not let her out of their sight. He quickly explained what had happened and then left to retain Mr. Barrow’s services.

  Holly expected he would report to work, as well. Ronan and Robbie were there and would cover for him if he felt the need to rush back to her.

  “How awful!” Abigail gave her a hug.

  “I shall shoot the bounder between the eyes if he dares show his face here again,” Miranda said, withdrawing a pistol from her reticule. “I am not afraid of him. I’ve handled worse villains.”

  In truth, Holly was at ease so long as others remained with her. “I wouldn’t call him a villain so much as a troubled man. He did not harm me, but I had a very bad feeling about him. Perhaps it was all in my head, and he is completely innocent in his intentions.”

  Still, she wondered what had been going through Lord Rawling’s mind. What could he possibly want with her? To reminisce about his brother? If so, why choose her? Surely, he had close friends of his own he could confide in. She had never traveled in his more elevated social circle in York. They’d only known each other in passing, if that.

  His unexpected visit had rattled her, and she would not deny it. But what unsettled her most was her inability to shed the past.

  First the Gleasons and now Lord Rawling. Would she ever be able to break away?

  The rest of the day passed uneventfully, but it did not calm her down.

  Most brides were too excited and happy to sleep the night before their wedding. She was too scared. Her eyes played tricks on her, and every innocent shadow in the room appeared to be a hulking form coming after her.

  The shadows of her past giving her nightmares.

  By morning, she was exhausted.

  Violet took one look at her and sighed. “Joshua hired Bow Street runners to guard the house. He probably stayed up all night with Ronan and Robbie, scouting the nearby streets. The two of you will be the most bedraggled wedding couple ever to stand before the minister.”

  Holly groaned. “Now that it’s daylight and everyone is starting to stir, I’ll be able to relax. Joshua and I will sleep tonight.”

  Violet giggled. “No, you won’t. That man will not be keeping his hands off you. But you know how it is on your wedding night.”

  She nodded. “Oh, yes.”

  Joshua was the only one who knew she was lying through her teeth. Which was why, much as she had wanted to turn to Violet or any of her other married cousins for advice, she could not do it.

  This would be a repeat of her first wedding night.

  Well, not quite the same. Joshua was going to make her his wife truly.

  She trusted him to understand her ignorance and be patient with her.

  The wedding took place in John and Sophie’s home, the ceremony occurring first in their garden. The day was sunny and crisp, the sky a glorious blue. Holly could not take her eyes off Joshua as they exchanged their vows, for he looked so handsome in his dress uniform. Medals were pinned to his jacket, stretching across the left side of his broad chest.

  Her wedding gown was a lovely tea rose silk.

  All the ladies admired it.

  “Do you, Hollyhocks Farthingale take…”

  Ugh! Her name. She’d forgotten to tell the minister not to call her that. And now Joshua was grinning at her as he squeezed her hand. Of course, his name was perfect. Joshua William Brayden.

  Everyone rushed to surround her as soon as the ceremony was over.

  She was now Joshua’s wife.

  She couldn’t believe it. If this was a dream, she did not want to be awakened from it. But his touch felt real, and his kisses felt warm and splendid.

  Afterward, everyone went indoors to dine.

&nb
sp; “Are you hungry, Mrs. Hollyhocks Brayden?” Joshua asked, trying to coax her into a lighter mood.

  “Ours will be the shortest marriage in the London records if you call me by that horrid name again. I don’t know what my parents were thinking. Holly is a perfectly fine name. But no, my mother loves her hollyhocks, and so this is what they named their firstborn girl.”

  He still regarded her with concern. He’d noticed she hadn’t eaten much during the wedding breakfast.

  She shook her head and sighed. “I’m fine, Joshua. And so very happy. I know I’ve hardly touched my plate, but I’m too excited to eat.”

  “Or too scared?”

  She didn’t know whether he was referring to the marquess or talking about their wedding night. “No, I’m never scared when I’m with you.”

  When darkness fell, as it did early at this time of the year, their guests began to take their leave.

  Joshua took her hand in his. “Come, my love. Time to be on our way as well.”

  “Because we have miles to travel?” She laughed. “We are only walking next door. It was nice of Violet to give us her home since ours isn’t ready yet.”

  “Slight change in plans. We aren’t staying next door.”

  She thought he was jesting at first. “You’re serious.”

  He nodded.

  “Where are we going? And why?”

  Chapter Twelve

  “A ship?” Holly said as their carriage drew up to a pier, and she saw the elegant vessel anchored there. The sky was clear, and it was a beautiful, moonlit night. She knew the stars would be visible later, once the sun had fully disappeared off the horizon.

  The October breeze was stronger off the water, so she drew her cloak more securely about her shoulders. Joshua stepped down from the carriage and placed his hands on her waist to help her down. “It is a yacht to be precise. Belongs to the Earl of Hume. Robbie’s cousin is Thaddius MacLauren, who is heir to the Earl of Hume, whose vessel happens to be here at the moment. The earl won’t need it for another fortnight at the earliest.”